Cigarettes & Cheesecake

My sister sent me some money. When I have finished writing my dissertation section on ‘Lady Lazarus’ I am going to buy 10 cigarettes and a slice of lemon cheesecake because I fucking deserve it. 

We have different eyes
yours are bright, light, open
mine are shut tight
for fear of seeing just how
awful this planet really is

My CPN told me to wake up
and smell the coffee. Everything
is awful. Death is everywhere.
Life is cruel and unfair.
But in ugliness I must find beauty,
the way Keats did.

So I put on my shoes
(socks are too much effort)
and I spend money because
it makes me happy. And I eat
my cheesecake and smoke my
cigs, because this is what living
really is.

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