Now

When I think of you and her, I feel alone.
When I feel alone, I get really sad.
When I get really sad, I become afraid.
When I am afraid, I run away.
When I am afraid, I block it out.
When I am afraid, I take lots of sleeping pills and knock myself out.
I do this because being conscious is too painful.
When I am conscious, I think of you and her.
When I am conscious, I see that photo every time I blink.
When I am conscious, I am vulnerable, susceptible, at risk.
When I am conscious, I am alone, sad, afraid. I am terrified
of myself, of you hurting me again, of the future.

I am alone, I am sad and I am afraid.

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5 thoughts on “Now

  1. Don’t be
    Be strong
    Sings the most valiant song
    Not before long
    Your will find your redemption
    To your satisfaction
    Ignore the rest,
    that pain, such hurt,
    that kiss and his flirt
    Listen to me
    Treat the past like dirt
    Washed up old shirt
    Your future is bright
    It will have joy and delight
    Be strong, carry on
    Kick the tyres,
    Rekindle fires
    Within you
    To get you through
    See to it
    Be to it
    Just don’t
    Never never quit

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