Sick

Everything makes me feel sick.

Seeing photos of you and her actually made me throw up last night.

The fact that I turn 21 tomorrow makes me feel ill.

These essays make me sick with worry.

Applying to graduate jobs make me want to vomit.

The realisation that I have nowhere to live after uni makes me gag.

I am going back to north London today. I am stopping by your house to collect my mail, see your nephews and have a coffee with your mother. This makes me feel sick.

Nausea, not in waves, but constant. I feel it in the pit of my stomach. I feel it in my bones. My heart feels mangled. My body feels broken. You have destroyed me. Again.

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5 thoughts on “Sick

  1. Don’t be sick! You got this! You’re young, you got a lot ahead of you, complete open doors and open-endedness. You can do whatever you want and go wherever you want. And if something’s dragging you down, forget about it, go be yourself FOR YOURSELF.
    Just a little late night note in passing.

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