Smiles

I stepped outside and you were right there. Our eyes met for a microscopic moment and then my legs stopped working. My lungs broke too. You were so close that I could touch you. My own skin had gone up in flames. You looked the same, as before, as always.

Instead of speeding off, you slowed down, and everything around me ground to a halt. I looked in every direction apart from yours and yet all I could see was you. Without even looking, your face was all that I could see. You were smiling at me, you were happy to see me. And it was so nice to see your smiling face. It wasn’t your old smile though, this smile was heavy with heartbreak and regret. The air was saturated with nostalgia, and the memories that we had created fell from the sky and smothered us.

You were waiting for me to acknowledge you- with a wave, with a smile, with a middle finger, anything. And I’m sorry, I’m sorry that I ignored you but my heart was exploding and I didn’t want you to see me suffer, like a half-mangled fox dying by the side of the road. It would’ve been kinder of you to run me over. That would hurt less than it does to see you smile.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXpg4kqHEcI

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