Untitled Drafts: On Mistakes

Untitled Draft (4 months ago)

I make a lot of mistakes.
I make the same mistake twice,
just in case the outcome may be different this time
or perhaps this time, or maybe next time.
I know that I make these mistakes time and time again,
but it’s not that I never learn from them.
No, I learn from all of them, every single one.
I learn, and I have faith in love, that the next time will be different.

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Untitled Draft (3 months ago)

I make a lot of mistakes. I make the same mistakes multiple times. I learn something valuable from each mistake, I just can’t remember what I learned. When I’m in the middle of making the same mistake again, the lessons don’t come to me.

Self-care is very important. So is self-respect.

And if I hate myself, and hate the personality that I am presenting, then everyone around me probably hates me too.

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Untitled Draft (3 months ago)

I make mistakes, a lot of mistakes, and I learn from all of them, yes, that includes you, and then I make the same mistake again because I have trouble with my brain and I can’t remember the mistake or the lesson or the moral or how I got to be insane in the first place, I just have faith that someone will restore my faith in the human race, and that maybe, maybe, I will never have to make this same mistake twice again.

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Untitled Draft (2 months ago)

I make mistakes.
I learn from my mistakes.
Then, I make the same mistakes again
just to see if things will turn out differently this time –
they don’t.
So I learn again, from the events that have proven to be mistakes, twice.
Then, I make the same mistakes again
because I have a deluded sense of faith
and hope that if I make the same mistake, but with a different person,
then things could potentially turn out differently this time –
they never do.
Then, I make the same mistakes again, blindly.
Because although I learn from all of my mistakes
I never remember a single valuable lesson when caught up in the midst of the mistake-making.
So, I do learn from my mistakes
I just forget what the wisdom was
and where I learned it
and who taught me.

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Untitled Draft (Today)

All of these drafts are drafts for a reason – riddled with mistakes, unfit for publication. Nothing makes sense. But the mistake that I was referring to in these old drafts, I have made again. I made the same mistake again yesterday. Again, again, I have done it again. And I’m not even sorry.

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